Why do we say kaddish for 11 months

Dear Rabbi, Is there any halachic basis for the kaddish mourners' prayer to be said 11 months for a deceased parent? Some people say it for 12 months. Please give me the textual sources for this difference. Thank you very much. Dear Gerdy Trachtman, The Talmudic Sages teach that the maximum that a very wicked person is punished in the afterlife in gehinom is 12 months.

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I have generally assumed that I would say Kaddish for my beloved father, of blessed memory, for 12 months. I understood this to be fairly clearly the original practice though Rabbi Abraham Golinkin indicates here that both the 11 month and 12 month customs arose in the 13 th century. On the other hand, while I generally try to follow the Jewish practice that makes the best sense to me, my interest in doing so is usually predicated on the desire to fulfill halakhic requirements, while here we are clearly dealing with minhag custom.

I should note that my reason for saying Kaddish in the first place is largely social. I do not see Kaddish as a halakhic obligation. I DO believe that my father deserves a great deal of the credit and blame for who I am, but I doubt whether or not I show up to minyan more often and mumble a few words for a year or 11 months will say much toward any judgment he receives due to the person I became.

But even this attitude cuts both ways. The fact that I am saying Kaddish in large part as a public expression of love for my father draws me toward the 12 month Kaddish. Zuckermandel, p. Rabbi Novak note 6. Isaac Luria urged recitation of Kaddish for 12 months less 1 week in deference to the common 11 month custom.

Ironically, R. There is neither mention nor hint of an eleven month mourning period in the canonical Oral Law library. Without a shred of explicit Oral Torah evidence, some post-Talmudic authorities assume that the recitation of Qaddish by sons will redeem their parents from their Gehinom suffering. May our fathers and Hashem continue to have joy as we grow and elevate ourselves, too. We sometimes have a minyan and most times do not.

This was such a moving story that it ensures that I will make the effort to be at each service to help make it easier for those who want to say Kaddish. I will join them as the prayer is so important to all of us. I believe in the power of prayers,to let the soul of my Father going.

It was not until I lost my own mother that I h ad the same kind of enlightening experience. Now, when I say Kaddish for any of my relatives I stop at each word to experience it's gift to them and to me. I feel the mitzvah of Kaddish and feel their NeShama with me. I grow with each time I say it, and remember why it is important. Todah Rabah! Im so glad you shared your story. My yr old grandma passed away January and because she was religious I decided I would honor her with every morning when I woke I said kaddish, it made the sorrow and loss seem a little more tolerable.

Four months later my dad passed away suddenly and while he grew up religious he was more spiritual. I knew without him ever speaking the words that the best way to honor him would be saying Kaddish so each morning for the next 11 months I felt that same sense of connection to my grandma my dad and G-d.

I remember when it was coming to an end, I felt what am I going to do, eventually those feelings disappeared and I'm left with the feeling of contentment at doing this for my loved ones which makes me feel they are forever at peace and always looking out for me.

This was a beautiful article. Your father had the right values and it seems you do too. Keep growing and may your good deeds serve as an aliyah for your father's neshama. Reading this very accurate and precise memory of the 11 month Kaddish, brought back memories for me But the sentiments are still true today where I've continued to go and try to be part of an aftermoon minyan every day.

Not sure why other than the ideas this essayist wrote. My father, of blessed memory, passed away the 26th of Elul as well, but, many, many years ago, when I was a youngster. Your wonderful story brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I too have had a life changing experience. I lost my dad, a simple plumber from Chicago. He wasn't observant but did send me to Hebrew school.

I hated it but went anyhow. Now I know why I went. I myself wasn't that observant, but that has changed in an unbelievable way. Now I catch 2 sometimes 3 minyans a day. Walk 2. All to say I love you Dad you were a man of Merit. Thank you Rabbi Pickholtz. You helped explain what I am experiencing.

I am always so surprized when I learn that so much of what I do ; and the way I react is because of my upbringing; and the education and values I grew up with. I truly feel I am having a relationship with my father that I did not have before. I am very grateful for his love; compassion;moral's and values; although the road I must follow is alot more challenging than most- I have tryed many times to do things " the easier way lower my standards ; and it never works for me.

We really do seem to be destined to lead and follow a code of very high ethics and morals. May G- d please protect and keep our children and us safe on Earth.

Ann in Canada , August 7, PM. Your gentle comments inspired me, Marcia. Someone once told me that my standards were "too high" as I lamented being single for so many years.

HaShem indeed gave us His Law to protect and raise us up. Your Dad taught you well. Jewish Mom , August 6, AM. Victor, that's terrific how you are strengthening the bond with your father by strengthening your bond with G-d. Connecting with G-d is the most satisfying relationship possible and it's eternal to boot! Your father must be bursting with pride. Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.

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Saying Hello to Hanukkah. Hanukkah and the Secret to Jewish Survival. So how could I repay my father for the gifts he bestowed to me? The peace and knowledge about what really matters went from ephemeral glimpses to a serene constancy in my life. The Final Kaddish Then all of a sudden, it was over. Aleynu, at the end of the service, was almost over. I remained standing. It was time. I stumbled through the next few verses of Aramaic: Hallowed, and honored, extolled and exalted, adored and acclaimed be the Name of the blessed Holy One… May God grant abundant peace and life, to us and to all Israel.

And let us say, Amein I took three steps back on my trembling legs. Three final steps forward. It was over. Before I knew it, everyone was standing for Aleynu. In the car ride home, I prayed. I thanked God. And I thanked my father. Please donate at: aish. Share this article.

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